13 weeks - Ode to My Husband

No, nothing new has happened this week. I just wanted to talk about my husband.

Isaac keeps wanting to take pictures of my belly. He tells me, "Don't hold it in", "Your belly looks so cute" ... and the new one today, "You are never going to be 13 weeks ever again with this baby." He has an app on his phone that tracks the baby's growth and it allows you to take pictures each week to remember. Sometimes I wonder if he just wants to take pics of me so he can use his phone more. :)

In the last month or so, Isaac has come alive to me. It was as if he never knew what to do with the miscarriages or grieving .... but now he knows exactly how to be a dad and supportive husband. He hasn't complained once about how  tired I am all the time and how the housework never seems to get done fully. He lets a lot of things go, and then right when I need, it he gets up and does my work for me (usually in the form of washing dishes). He does all of this joyfully and then comes to me, kisses me and tells me how pretty I am.

It makes me cry to think of how long and lonely this last year has been. I never blamed Isaac for not getting attached to the babies that died so young. I knew I would love them in a way he couldn't. But now .... it makes me cry to see just how perfect this feels... to have Isaac right beside me through this pregnancy, to see what fruit our baby is each week, to decide if we want to use cloth diapers or disposable, to read parenting books out loud to each other...

I love watching my husband. I love how he thinks about our baby just as much as I do (ok, maybe half as much as I do, but that is still saying a lot). I love seeing his face when he is dying to tell someone that we are pregnant ... or how he is racking his brain to think of something else to say when we are trying not to tell folks that we are pregnant. I love how he has come up with several ideas of  how to tell people on facebook. I love how he even PUT a baby app on his phone so he could keep up to date with the pregnancy without me filling him in. I think I probably ask him more questions about each week than he does to me. :) I love how he thinks I am still beautiful when I feel like I am just fat. And you should see the pride on his face when we are listening to or watching our little one with the doppler or ultrasounds.

My husband is going to be such a good daddy. He has such a servant heart. I can't believe how much I have seen him transform in the last month. My heart is filled with so much joy right now! I love you, Isaac.