Dear Anna,
Happy One Month Old Birthday to my beautiful daughter! The time with you is flying fast. Although, in some ways, I feel like you have been in our family for ages! You don't feel new or different. It doesn't feel strange anymore to wake up with you in the middle of the night or to bring you to the store with me and William. You are one of us ... and it feels like you always have been. I love you to pieces and so does your daddy. We are so proud of how you are growing. You just went 6 hours without nursing for the first time the other day. And your neck is growing stronger every day. Your daddy thinks you are a very serious little girl. Won't you give us a smile? That's ok. There is a lot to study and learn about the world.
I keep thinking about how you will be in my shoes one day. You will be a mom with a little baby (Lord willing). I think about how hard it will be for you to get used to your postpartum body or the lack of sleep or the constant feeling that you aren't doing it right. But somehow as I hold you now, I know that you don't care about any of those things as it regards me. I am your whole world. And you don't see my stretch marks or flabby stomach. You only feel my softness and warmth and safety. You don't see the bags under my eyes and short temper from lack of sleep. You only know with all certainty that I WILL wake up and feed you at any time of the day. You aren't alone. And you are sure of that fact because of me. And you don't care if I am uncertain of myself as a mom because your needs are always met and that communicates all of my love. One day ... in 20-30 years, I hope that I will be around to remind you of all the things I am learning as your mom. Life as a mom will be hard and it will push your character to grow and stretch every day. I hope I am there with you ... to keep telling you that you are beautiful ... to keep reminding you that you aren't alone ... to keep telling you that you don't need to "get it right" all the time. There is someone else who tells these things too. And you can know with all certainty (because He cannot lie) that they are truth. You are beautiful because of Jesus and His work in you. You are not alone because Jesus promises to never leave you. And you don't need to "get it right" all the time because Jesus did it for you and covers your failures. You are loved, my darling daughter.
And now I need to go because you woke up and are crying for me. I love you, Anna!
Your Mommy
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