Mommy Guilt

I need your advice ...

Last week I was in the grocery store. William had been trying to get my pen and paper the whole time I was grocery shopping and I was finally tired of taking it from him or keeping it out of his reach. So I retracted the pen and let him play with it. Well, he is a baby and being such he put the pen in his mouth. But as we were just finishing up our shopping a man saw William eating the pen and freaked out, pointing it to me as if it were a great danger. In his defense, if I noticed a baby doing this same thing and the mom didn't notice I would probably point it out too. However, after I told him that I was aware of it and that the pen was retracted so he couldn't eat any ink, the man didn't give up. He kept talking about it and went so far as to offer to buy him a teething toy for me.

The fact that I am writing about this incident is proof that this accusation that I am not taking care of my child is still bothering me. It is really bothering me! Was I wrong to give William the pen? If it was a marble of course I wouldn't let him have it because he could swallow it faster than I could take it out of his mouth. But the fact is, William couldn't swallow a pen. He might stick it too far in his mouth and make him gag on it, but then he would learn to not do that again. I was watching him and could take it away anytime if I thought he could hurt himself. The truth is that William doesn't like toys so I give him keys (another thing he could gag on), old phones, remotes, papers (until they become too soggy and he could actually swallow them), combs and anything else I think might entertain him and allow him to explore the world. There are too many actual dangerous things that make semi-dangerous things seem fine for him to figure out.

I read in a parenting book that it is wrong for mommys and daddys to try to please people around them when they are parenting. You should do what is best no matter what others think. But is there something to being more cautious in public? What if that man called social services? He was really concerned that William had that pen!

What would you do? And why?