Last week I reached the end of my rope with William and his naps. It would take 10 minutes to get him to fall asleep, then I would lay him down and he would sleep another 20 minutes on his own. I was exhausted and frustrated. I knew he needed more sleep than this and I couldn't feed him every hour and a half to keep the schedule of Eat-then-Play-then-Sleep.
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| Look at that pouty face :( |
So on Tuesday after Isaac came home from work we laid William down in his bed, gave him his pacifier and left the room. He cried for 30 min before we gave in and got him. Both Isaac and I were almost in tears from hearing him and we were not confident at all that we were doing the right thing. I sat on the couch reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and crying "It says that now is the right time to do this. The book says we should do this now!" We tried again for his next nap, but only made it for 15 min before we picked him up and put him to sleep on us. I knew that we needed advice from friends to tell us what to do next.
I knew a friend of a friend whose son (Jackson) struggled to take naps all year and I called her to see what encouragement she could give me. She backed up the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and told me that she started even earlier at letting Jackson cry himself to sleep. She told me that it can take as long as 2 1/2 hours for a child to cry himself to sleep, but she said it never took Jackson longer than 45 minutes. She encouraged me to struggle through the tears and keep going.
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| ... and those sad eyes |
As soon as I got home I put William down for a nap, gave him his pacifier and left the room. Thankfully Isaac came home right then because William cried for 40 minutes before he fell asleep exhausted. It was very hard to hear, but I think I knew how hard it was going to be that time and braced myself for William's tears. The next nap was better. He only cried for 20 minutes and the nap after that he cried for 15 minutes. I couldn't believe how easy it was becoming. The next day was even better. He would cry for anywhere between 5-15 minutes and would sleep at least an hour, but several times would take a two hour nap. One time I even had to wake him up to eat!!! I felt like a new person. I cleaned the whole house that day, did several loads of laundry and even had time to sit around and rest.
I can't believe how well William is responding to all this. He is so much happier and feeding him is easier as well. I'd like to say he doesn't cry anymore to go to sleep, but he does. The longest amount of time is 30 minutes, but usually he only cries for 15 minutes and occasionally he just complains a bit and goes right to sleep. It is wonderful!
I wanted to write this blog for any other young parents out there that need encouragement to let their children cry themselves to sleep. I'm not saying it is the only way, but if you want to do it this way, please call me and I will encourage you to push through it. It takes a certain hardness of heart. You will probably cry the first time you try it, but the result is worth it. Isaac had to remind me that I am William's parent and it is my job to teach him hard lessons that he needs to know to be a good adult one day. Isn't sleep one of the most basic lessons? How can I expect to teach William really hard lessons when he is a teenager if I don't start teaching him something as easy as sleeping on his own? It helped me to put that into perspective. I hope all this helps you too. :)
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| But now his eyes are bright and happy :) |
own and it involves letting you cry yourself to sleep. Hearing you cry is hard, but I was reminded that God has entrusted you to your Dad and I. That means that our job is to raise and train you. Training you is going to be painful, for you and for us. It physically hurts me to hear you cry, and I know you don't understand why we are making you go through this hardship. When you read this, it will of course make sense why we made you cry yourself to sleep. Every child needs to sleep on his own! But for every hardship that we put you through, you may not understand why we do it and I hope you can trust that we know what is best and have your best interest at heart. God will also put you through hardship and trials will come up in your life. It will tear your heart apart at times and you will come to the end of yourself. But you know what? God will meet you there. Those things are actually blessings to you because they bring down those fixed idols in your life and you will turn to God. Trust Him, my son. He loves you and is in control of your life. His ways are not your ways, and He has your best interest in mind. He desires good for you and that good is really for you to KNOW Him more.
