My secret

Last night I woke up at 1am to William crying for milk. This is all pretty typical of course, but after I changed his diaper and picked him back up he lay against my chest in such a way that I couldn't put him down. He felt so cuddly all slumped in a ball against me. So I laid down with him still on me ... and all of a sudden he reached up and touched my face with his perfect hand. Ah, I melted at his touch and I can't stop thinking about it.

I love my face being touched. It all started back when I was a little girl. It was usually at church when I sat on my dad's lap. He would run his hand over my cheek or ear and I would fall asleep to his touch every time. I could never get enough of it. Isaac knows this secret and now he touches me on my face when he wants to love on me ... or to get me to stay still. He knows that if he runs his hand over my face I won't move a muscle so that it will keep going.

Oh, I will be in such trouble if William ever discovers my secret. He will come and touch my face whenever he wants something ... and I know I will give in to him every time if he does. :) Last night was one of the most perfect moments since William was born. I hope I always remember these times. I love him so much.

Don't you just want to kiss this adorable face???

Grampa's visit

While my sister was here I invited our Dad to come down and see both of his grandchildren. He hadn't seen Bella since she was 6 weeks old. He took me up on my offer and came down for one night. We had lots of fun watching him play with the babies. We also taught my dad how to play Settlers of Catan as well as Dominion AND Isaac got to give him a tour of the Navy base. Overall it was a great weekend, but I'm glad all our guests are gone now and William and I can try to find our own routine with Isaac back at work. Women's Bible Study starts up tomorrow and although I'm very nervous about having to nurse in public, I am very excited about being around women (many of whom have also just had their first child this summer) and getting some structure to studying the Bible. I do intend to do all the homework, but we will see how that goes. :)

Sleepy little boy and a cute teddy bear that Grampa gave him

Looking up at Grampa

Pacifier kisses

Both Bella and Will have the same type of pacifier :)

Big eyes!

Grampa and his two grandchildren

Big yawn!!

Bella and Grampa being silly with sunglasses

  

Bella and Will

My sister and niece came to visit us for a week. I can't believe how big Bella seemed to me with a newborn around. I just saw her two months ago and she was the cutest "little" baby ever. Now she is so big and William is the little shrimp. I love how happy and excited Bella is all the time. She laughs and screams, waves her arms and kicks her feet. All she needs from you is a smile and she gets so excited. William, on the other hand, thought she was obnoxious. We have so many photos of him looking like he is annoyed by her ... or scared of her flailing arms.We took hundreds of photos and it has been hard narrowing it down to a few to share with you all. I hope you enjoy them! 

Auntie Amy and William

Amy was done with her Mike's Hard Lemonade and let Bella use the bottle as a toy.

We promise there was nothing left in it!! 

If Bella was allowed to put something in her mouth ... then she did

Cousins!!!

I love Bella's face here. She is so happy.

Bella wanted a drink too :)

"Oh Boy! A new toy to play with???"

"Don't let her near me, Mom!"

"Ugh! She has cooties!"

Bella is trying to hold his hand. She wants to be friends.

"Maybe if I don't look at her, then she won't notice me."

I think this might be the cutest picture we took of them together.

Bella grabs William's ear :)

Emotions and Grace

Every time something big happens in my life ... getting married, moving or having a baby ... I find that I have to get to know myself all over again.

In the last two weeks I have found that I am very emotional (I'm sure it is all the hormones) and I worry about everything concerning the baby. I can't tell you how many times a day Isaac tells me not to worry. It is actually getting annoying now. :) But it is not annoying for the obvious reason that he says it often ... it is annoying because I know logically that I shouldn't worry, but I still do regardless of the logic. I often feel lost concerning mothering and when Isaac says not to worry, it makes it sound like he knows everything. I'm sure in reality he feels like it is his job to calm me and be in charge when his emotional wife worries about everything. :)

I also cry very easily. I cry when William cries. I cry when I'm frustrated. I cry when Isaac tells me not to worry. I cry when I'm happy too. This is all very new for me ... especially because I was very emotional-less during this pregnancy.

I have needed to remind myself many times a day ... "You don't need to have it all together. You don't need to be in control all the time. It is ok when you can't make your baby happy constantly. Remember when you heard Rachel and Jenny and Ashley extending grace to each other as mothers, Thursday morning after Thursday morning??? You need grace for yourself, your husband and your newborn son as well. Your birthing story doesn't need to be this romantic experience for women to admire. Nursing does not need to come easy for you to be a successful woman/mother. You don't need to be in love with your husband constantly to be a good wife."

This morning I really freaked out about Isaac going back to work. Every night I get very little sleep and every morning I need a break from William so I can refresh myself, get a nap, and remind myself that I love this little boy so so much. This morning as I was getting frustrated, Isaac spotted it immediately and took William for a walk so I could get a break. I took a bath and cried and realized that there was no way I could be home all day with a crying child without help. I went downstairs and opened my Bible for the first time since William was born and read some random chapters in Isaiah.

I wish I could quote some awesome verse and say that I was encouraged and recharged with a passion for God and how He would provide for me as a mother. But I didn't. I read about heaven and felt a longing for our heavenly home. It was beautiful, but not helpful for today. I don't know how God will provide for tomorrow and how I will handle Isaac being back at work. I guess my prayer is that God would keep me in this state of neediness and desiring to be home with Him. I'm sure tomorrow will include more tears and more grace...

Silly Faces

I have such a hangover!

Scheming look 

We call this the "Myles Look"

Ok. This one may not be silly, but it is adorable!

 

This one just makes me laugh... I have no smart comments.

Yikes!!!!

Mom, STOP! TAKING! PICTURES!

Add caption

Here is the "Myles Look" again

Memere Comes to Visit

My mom came to visit us this last Friday for one day. This visit meant the whole world to me. I didn't think she could get any time away and I thought she wouldn't be able to see William until Thanksgiving. So when she texted me that she just HAD to come see him, I couldn't have been more pleased. We hung around all day and she even let Isaac and I take a nap while she watched William downstairs. Then we went out to the Melting Pot for a celebration dinner. It was so good! However, it was very difficult nursing William in public even under a cover. I was very glad we were there at a very slow time so no one sat across from us in our section. Memere loves her first grandson and she says he looks just enough like the Eatons and just enough like the Spencers that both sides of the family can be attached to him. Thanks Mom for making last weekend so special! We love you and hope you do really well in nursing school this semester!

This is my favorite picture of Memere and William

Look at that little body all curled up!

Saying goodbye

Daddy and William

I have always thought that men that take an interest in babies and children are very sexy. I remember the first weekend that I met Isaac... Amy and I had nursery duty that Sunday, so Isaac joined us. There was this one little boy who always cried when his parents dropped him off. He was pretty much never consolable. But this Sunday, Isaac picked him up and the boy fall asleep on him very contented and happy. That was the first time I could say I was attracted to my future husband.

All during this pregnancy Isaac has taken quite an interest in my friend's children. The Barnett boys call him "Iyak" and Henry Williamson asks to play with his smart phone (a treat he got one night when we were babysitting him). I love watching him with them, but this week has been so special watching him bond with his son. Sometimes he turns to me and his eyes tell me that he is so in love and proud of his child. He told me the other day, "I didn't think I would be this involved in the baby's life."  He begs me to let him burp him and he asks to change poopy diapers. He rejoices with me when he feeds well and congratulates William when he lets out a burp. I love these two and had to post the cutest photos of them together.      

This was the first time Isaac held William

Look at that cute little yawn! Melts my heart...

One of William's silly faces

William looking at Daddy