For some reason, I don't want to talk about Anna's birth. I love reading other's stories but trying to sit down and write this one is not fun. I'm only doing it now so I can put down all the details before I really start to forget them. So here it goes ...
It happened really fast! REALLY FAST! We were not expecting that. I was barely even dilated. I had my 39 week appointment the day before. I was only 1 1/2 cm (the same amount as the week before that!). It was very disappointing to me because I had tons of contractions, bleeding, cramping ... for a week! AND I really needed Anna to come before my brother left to go home on the 19th. We were down to the wire. So I had my awesome midwife strip my membranes and we said a prayer that she would come that night.
Jump ahead to 12:30am, I started getting contractions with cramping. I was uncomfortable trying to sleep through them so I pulled out my phone and started tracking them. They weren't out of the ordinary, but I hoped this would be labor. I got up and walked around ... they didn't go away. I waited impatiently for them to continue for an hour so I could call my sister. At 1:30ish I was pretty sure I was in labor so I called Amy. Sadly, she told me she couldn't come She wouldn't have made it in time anyway.
By 2:30am I was tired of doing it on my own. Read: I was lonely. I woke Isaac up. (I think looking back, I probably woke him when I was in active labor.) It took FOREVER for him to get ready to go to the hospital. At 3:30am, he still wasn't getting me in the car and things were really picking up for me. I started to tell Isaac that I couldn't do it anymore. I was sure that I needed help. I was afraid the doc would say I was only 5 cm. When I was in labor with William I was needing help at that time. I didn't tell Isaac, but I was ready for an epidural. I started walking out to the car without Isaac's help and I was in the car for several contractions while he was still getting ready to go. I still have no idea why he took that long! I was all packed. What else was he packing?
I have no idea when we left the house. I was in so much pain and was completely in my own world trying to cope. I couldn't sit down or buckle in ... I just knelt on my seat and put my head on Isaac's shoulder. I also don't remember a whole lot of the hospital. I just remember everyone talking around me. So many conversations ... The absolute WORST part about my hospital experience was the admitting nurse. Isaac left me to park our car and they wheeled me to her. She was the rudest person I've ever met in my life (or the most ignorant). Moms, you can appreciate this. I was IN transition, I pushed Anna out 15 minutes afterwards and this admitting nurse was tapping on my hand and loudly trying to get me to tell her my name, my doctors name/practice, ssn ... etc. If I could have punched her or yelled at her, I probably would have! But I was almost pushing Anna out! Thankfully Isaac saved me eventually and the nurse from the labor and delivery ward saw me and said they need to stop asking questions and wheel me immediately to the right floor. Thank God! They checked me and ran out looking for the doctor. I think I probably had about 2 contractions on the bed before I started to push.
Did I mention how fast this labor was? Get this! I pushed Anna out in ONE contraction. She practically flew out! I remember with William that the breaks between pushing contraction were longer and restful, but I never got a rest. It was like 5 minutes of feeling a constant urge to push. Every time I took a deep breath to push, the urge was there. And I screamed, let me tell you! Anyone who heard me would think I was dying. I will never have a home birth even if that was my only reason.
Looking back on this labor, these are my thoughts:
1. I feel empowered. More so than with William's labor. I really did it on my own. And I wasn't ready to give up until I was almost done. I know I can do it again next time. I'm not sure I won't be afraid in the future, but I'll know that I have the power in me (Gosh, that sounds SOOOO humanistic to say!) to handle the pain.
2. The downside of doing it on my own was that I was incredibly lonely. I only remember Isaac sitting with me through a handful of contractions. When things got scary, he still wasn't there and when I was in the hospital, he was always talking to someone else. In the future, I will plan on waking him up sooner and asking him to get ready in 15 minutes and then sit with me and not chat with other people. I don't blame him. I never told him what I wanted. But in those long contractions and brief breaks, I couldn't tell him anything. But the saddest part of Anna's birth to me is that loneliness.
3. We need to go to the hospital a lot sooner next time! We only had 20 minutes in the hospital before Anna was in our arms.
It was a crazy experience, but I'm glad it is done. And I love having two children!
Happy One Month Old Birthday to my beautiful daughter! The time with you is flying fast. Although, in some ways, I feel like you have been in our family for ages! You don't feel new or different. It doesn't feel strange anymore to wake up with you in the middle of the night or to bring you to the store with me and William. You are one of us ... and it feels like you always have been. I love you to pieces and so does your daddy. We are so proud of how you are growing. You just went 6 hours without nursing for the first time the other day. And your neck is growing stronger every day. Your daddy thinks you are a very serious little girl. Won't you give us a smile? That's ok. There is a lot to study and learn about the world. 
